He’s gone, baby, gone

 It seems like it has a been a whirlwind few months. From racing out here to find a house, getting a contract on the 'perfect place', going back to California to wrap up the school year,  buying the house at the end of May, packing out our rental the next day and then heading east…it's been crazy.

In reality, we saw today coming over 13 months ago, when we first perused the summer 2010 bid list.  Well, not "the" bid list, a special bid list that only included certain posts.  We had long bandied about the idea of Peter taking on a UT, but I was unwilling for him to go until Nicholas had at least reached toddlerhood.  He missed too much time with girls when they were babies, and I wasn't going to let that happen with Little Guy.

We had already made up our minds that there was no time like the present, and it was merely a matter of Peter officially putting his name in for several positions.  We had no idea what to expect, and after hearing nothing for a while, assumed it was not a go.  Then, in late August, Peter received an email and everything changed: there was now a 99% chance that he would go overseas alone.

We still didn't say much of anything, as the unofficial motto of the Foreign Service is "it depends."  Plans and tours of duty can change overnight.  Finally, in late December, we had received enough information that it seemed like this was a go.  I typed up a post with the news, but saved as a draft, as I just wasn't sure I was ready to click publish.  Several days later, he received the final word, and we moved headlong into trying to plan for the next year.  

Plan we did…from deciding to move back to the east coast to working through the what-ifs of me being a single parent for a year.  The culmination of the more than a year of planning, angst and likely needless worrying arrived this afternoon when we took Peter to the airport to catch 'that' flight.

 His plane to JFK did not leave until 5 p.m. and the kids yearned to eke out every last second with Daddy. We waited in the insanely long line of international travelers with Peter, glancing sadly at those families who appeared to be journeying or moving overseas together.   We finally made it through and he checked his bags to Jordan.  Without further ado, we moved to the pre-security area and said our good-byes.

 Watching him kiss Nicholas good-bye so tenderly was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. The girls have some understanding of what will happen, and we have been vigilant about reminding them how we are still a family and have so many ways to keep in touch.  It is not as easy to impart such an abstract idea to the Little Guy.  He did adjust very easily during Peter's 6 weeks away last winter, so I hope it will be a similar transition this time, for his sake, if nothing else.

 We had one final photo op and I thought that was it.  I was holding it together fairly well until Peter gently grabbed my arms and reminded me of how much faith he had in me as a parent and as his wife.  We embraced one last time as a family and then let him go.  He turned and walked away, paused to look back briefly, moved forward and then looked back one more time.  I hurriedly hoisted a now very sleepy Nicholas into the air and we all waved as he disappeared from sight.  We turned around, wiped our eyes, bought a much-needed chocolate bar and headed out to the car for the long drive home.