It’s like a sauna in there….

thus we are no longer at home.  In fact, we are in a hotel in Chantilly.  I reserved a room out of sheer desperation today after realizing that not only are we not going to get power for a few more days, but apparently, I have a low tolerance for 90 degree days IN my house.  

Ironically, we lost power in the craziest thunderstorm I have seen in years only 3 hours after we returned home from our week long sojourn to Memphis.  I was juuuust about to pat myself on the back for the fact that we all survived (and did fairly well) on said trip. (Okay, I know 3 kids, one parent, two planes and 3 airports is not much to brag about, but I have good reason, I promise…).  The house even seemed relatively cool when we arrived home, despite me not setting it too low while we were gone.

Then the flickering of the lights started just as the girls and I were settling down to watch a movie.  It kept up and within minutes, turned into a 100% blackout.  By morning, we had lost phone, too.  Mind you, all those nasty winter storms?  Nope, we didn't lose one lick of power.  Smooth sailing…well, guess it's our turn now!  So, I thought we could tough it out and then I realized…that's just stupid.

Our house is as hot as the 9th circle and won't be getting cooler for several days, as power is expected to be out until at least Monday, if not later.  I held out on the hotel thing and finally, this afternoon, realized that was just dumb.  I have three kids who were sweltering last night (sleeping in the basement, mind you, with only the screen door closed) and it's just not worth it to be miserable.  While we can cook, it seems our fridge is warmer than our house and let me tell you, coming by a big ole block of ice in NOVA?  Not gonna happen.

I ended up getting what seemed to be the last hotel room on the planet and had grand visions of a fabulous stay…until we arrived and realized the last room is a smoking room. Yuck.  It's not as bad as it could be, but I instantly scanned the Marriott site, found plenty of places with open rooms for tomorrow night, secured a room for two nights (just in case) only 15 minutes from our house in a non-smoking hotel, and then canceled the room here.

Call me a wimp, but it's 73 degrees in my stinky smoking room and I'm nearly delirious with delight.  I'll be even happier tomorrow night in a less stinky room, but I'll take what I can get for now….

{this moment}: My Big Backyard

{this moment} – A Friday ritual. One photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. 

Taken in My Big Backyard at the Memphis Botanic Garden.  Where was this place when I was a kid?  It is such a creative idea, I only wish we had more time to explore it. Idea courtesy of Soulemama.  

Dear Atlantic Magazine,

Thank you for the interesting counterpoint to the previous article re: having it all.  What a novel idea, pitting two women who have both worked for State against each other!  Fabulous, right?  

Well, not really.  In this last piece, we get to read about a career Foreign Service woman who has, by her definition, had a full family life and career.  This is wonderful for her, yet once again, the entire article still focuses on the idea that one MUST work in an insanely demanding job outside the home and have children in order to have it all.

Why?  Why do we continue to fuel the idea that one must do both in order to feel happy and satisfied?  Do those of us who don't have lower standards or a lesser intelligence?  Do we not have that need to succeed?  Do our volunteer activities (which could stand in place of a full-time job) count for so little in others' minds?

Maybe it's just the timing is not right for us to try that 70 hour work week, in addition to a busy home life.  Or, maybe by virtue of our spouses's career, we are already working 70 hours (or more) a week simply taking care of things on the homefront.  Yes, we could try to work full-time outside the home, but that would add more stress, alleviate few issues and add complications to an already full and happy lifestyle.  

I have to say, by far, the most salient point in the second article is that the obvious point that Ms. Smith "chose" not to do a tour in Iraq for the sake of her family.  It must be nice to feel that you can make that choice in order to achieve family/life balance, but not all positions within State allow one to feel they can ignore the AIP bid list.  In fact, some of us have given up a year with our spouse TWICE.

Maybe it doesn't matter in our case, because the person going overseas is male, thus he already has it all?  FYI, anyone who thinks that needs to have his or her head examined, as spending a full year away from your family, no matter which member of the family you happen to be, is not defined as having it all.  Living in a war zone, working 16 hours a day/7 days a week?  No, I would not define it that way.  Clearly the author of the second article understood that, since she *chose* not to serve an unaccompanied tour.   Maybe that is the creativity and ingenuity on her part that allowed her to have it all?

Then again, it really doesn't matter.  Atlantic Magazine really doesn't care about my thoughts, because unless I work full time AND have a crazy home life, I don't have it all.  I really wish, though, that they would have asked us first if we had it all, rather than publishing not one, but two articles that fuel the notions that we can or can't, AND that having it all only counts if one has what is considered a high-powered career.  There are plenty of stay at home dads these days.  Do they not have it all?  

Let's just stop already.  Let's quit comparing and deciding who does or doesn't have it all, and once and for all, make that decision ON OUR OWN.  Who cares what someone else does?  Atlantic Magazine, all you had to do was ask the right person…and, in my opinion, you missed the boat twice.

Sincerely,

Jen

It’s been a

a slower pace this week for us, but we've still been busy.  We've been  enjoying Southern favorites like fried

Lunch at the Dixie Cafe with Cait. Oh, the fried okra….

everything?  By the way, I ordered the *light* plate!

Hanging around with cousins…

all over trains

and trees (at Oaklawn Garden).

Switching gears,

checking things out,

and using the force to stop that loathsome paparazzi at the Children's Museum.

And all this activity?

Just leaves us tuckered out.  Night ya'll!

We’re not in Kansas, anymore, Nicholas Quinn

or Virginia for that matter.  Nope, we are in good ole Memphis (can you say going to overindulge on BBQ this week?) for a week or so.

Nick was actually propelled out of bed when asked if he wanted to go see Grandpa today.

The travelers with their mostly self-packed bags.

Nope, no emergency caused us to roust ourselves (well, myself) at 6:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning (not that I could have slept anyway since the construction workers next door were already at work…), pack the car (the Civic), realize that not everything would fit, unpack the car, move the Odyssey, pack the Odyssey, and wake the remaining child, load him into the car with the waiting Sissas and head to BWI.  We followed this up with two plane rides and an extra special treat of Jamba Juice in the Charlotte airport.  Who knew that was there?!

Nothing like fruit smoothies to boost a traveler's weary spirit!

Why did we do this?  Well, to surprise Grandpa Kirk at his 70th birthday party (which was also a surprise).  

I can't say it wasn't a long day.  After two car rides, two planes and three airports, I was exhausted, but we still had a party to get to!  We had a few minutes downtime at the hotel to get refreshed and ready and by 6:20 p.m. the entire Dinoia contingent was hiding in a bedroom in the home of the party's host, waiting for Grandpa Kirk to appear.

It's safe to say we surprised him.  We casually entered the room after the big surprise and he was still in shock from that.  After staring at us for a few minutes, it hit him who we were and I think he was quite taken aback.  We had discussed the girls possibly flying down and attending the party, but decided it was too expensive.  We also threw in a crazy story about Pete's R&R being frozen and he believed it hook, line, and sinker (whew!).   Given that he thought there was no chance the girls would show up, he never even considered the possibility that the whole family might suddenly appear.

We did, though, and celebrated like crazy for a few hours.  I was grateful this was a very family-friendly party (many kids our kids' age) and they had fun running around for hours.  In fact, Nicholas was so exhausted, he easily slept 12 hours in a row which gave me time to get a good night's sleep AND have a whole hour to myself Sunday morning (normally unheard of).  

We have since been enjoying family time and a chance to relax. We are here until Friday and trying to take in as much Southern hospitality and cooking as time allows.  If you are wondering, the weather is nearly the same as Northern Virginia (and actually feels LESS humid), so no adjustment in that respect.  It's a bit of a whirlwind trip considering we made reservations only a week ago, but fell together nicely.  We are, of course, a bit sad that Peter couldn't join us, but given that he will be home for his first R&R in 5 short weeks, I'm not complaining!

I’m thinking an Etsy store…

The artist's self-portrait….

is it me (feel free to say yes) or are these THE cutest luggage tags you have ever seen?  Cait made these "Bag Tagz" for us the other day for our trip to Memphis.

Oh, yes, we are in Memphis for the week.  Kind of intentionally didn't mention and there is a blog post in progress on the whole situation.  The trip was very quickly initiated for a good surprise and thus far has been a lot of fun for all involved and only a few minor travel hiccups.  

Kelsey

In fact, this crazy trip had us all up, the car packed and in said car at 7:24 a.m. yesterday, ready to head to BWI for a day of travel one-third of the way across the country.  We are all still exhausted from the trip, but thus far have had a very good time and I even got NINE hours of sleep last night.  I shouldn't brag, but after 5 weeks of the UT thing (and little sleep), it was a welcome respite. 

Mr. Quinn

Back to the bag tags:  Cait wanted a way to set apart our luggage from other bags and loves to draw.  She has a very unique style and came up with the idea, drew the pictures, scanned them, printed them out, laminated them and attached to the suitcases.  The only problem is that they were attached with ribbon and three went missing during our travels. They can be easily re-created, though, and we may add more info on the other side and use those vinyl ties instead of ribbon.

Me

So, what do you think?  Oh, and for those who think it might be *too* personal, remember it's not an exact likeness and it could always be changed according to your specifications….thinking perhaps this could be her summer job!

Maybe we do have it all

after all.

There was an article today in the Atlantic that gained quick momentum and was shared on Facebook once, if not hundreds of times.  I shared it, too, not because I agree with it, but because it did make me think:  maybe I have all I need.  

Can you imagine that? I'm not working a high-powered job, I'm a SAHM who enjoys writing but could not survive on what she makes in that endeavor ($250/year…not so much).  I don't have an overly fancy car, but can't imagine I'd enjoy the upkeep required if I did.  My lack of a high-powered job means I don't flit here and there all over the country. My flitting and floating is limited to local volunteer opportunities and that's fine by me…well, until we move next year.

I'm not super-glam, nor do I care to be.  I'd love to be a master gardener, but saving that for when we move to Nicaragua and I have space to grow more than herbs.  My house, while not exactly what I want, keeps us safe and generally warm in the winter and cool in the summer.

Since I am at home (or rather, available) for the kids, we have more flexibility in our lives.  When Peter is in the same country, one of us can always make an appointment (school, doctor, dentist..) if not both.  We can generally take vacations (okay, maybe a week at the beach each year), when we want and we have real downtime (especially when Peter drops his phone in the Bay…true story!).

Maybe having it all isn't having an overwhelming job, social commitments, oodles of perfect children, and the right house and car.  Maybe having it all means coming to the conclusion that no one has it all, and perhaps others just don't dwell on it as much.  Maybe it's realizing we have what we need and that is all that truly matters.  

Quite honestly, I felt sorry for the author in some respects.  So many accomplishments and she thinks we still can't have it all?  No, thank you, I do have it all:  my all is just different from hers and that is fine with me. 

{this moment}: Care Package

{this moment} – A Friday ritual. One photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. 

Who doesn't love a box stuffed with treats from Trader Joe's?  Idea courtesy of Soulemama.  

Self-portrait of Nick

and his version of his Dad-Guy:

I can definitely see the family resemblance…. 

My children

amaze me at time with their wisdom and their ways of entertaining me during what could be a crazy, bizarre and scary year with Peter away.  It is definitely crazy and odd at times, but also amusing when we have conversations like, 

Nick, "Mom, do you miss Daddy?"

Me, (not sure…do I say a lot…a little..what's the right answer?), "A little bit, I guess.  Do you miss him?"

Nick, "A little bit."  He waited a beat and then said, "I was just copying you!"

Oh.

Then I was fretting over a rather large decision which seems to have no right answer.  I tried to get Kelsey's opinoin, but she was extraoridinarily non-committal in her answer.  As I bemoaned my inability to get an answer from her, she shouted from the living room, 

"I can't solve all your problems for you, you know!"

Sigh…but if only.