Bit by bit

it seems, we are getting there. Inching closer to the move and even faster towards Peter's return.  Given we had a somewhat incomplete unaccompanied tour the last time around, I had no idea what to expect this time.  I had no idea if R&Rs would make things harder or easier, if the kids would have more or less trouble adapting as each passed or if things would click into place each time.

The first time Peter left after R&R, it felt like it took weeks to settle back into our routine.  By 3 weeks in, we were finally settled, though it was the end of the summer and we were rather crazy with the whole back to school/end of summer gig.  By the end of the second R&R, I was ensconced in language school.  I'm fairly sure by the beginning of the second week, we were on track as though he had been gone for months.  This past R&R?  I'm not sure why, but for whatever reason, maybe hours after he left we were back in our routine.

Despite the fact I had the biggest break this time, no real travel, no worries about school, and I'd slept in more days than I should likely admit, everyone just rolled back into the routine.  No muss, no fuss, and just a few tears at the airport.  By the time we were back home, Kelsey was off and running to Girl Scouts, I was planning the week out, and Nick was running around outside enjoying the longer days without a care in the world.

In fact, it was nearly a relief, as the last few days of his visit had me in a tizzy.  I realized the next time he would be back it would be for good.  No more putting off any last minute pre-move to do lists and decluttering/reorganization would have to go into high gear.  I ended up waking up every morning with minor panic attacks just trying to figure out how we would get it all accomplished.  Finally, I just decided to slow down, rein in my fears, tackle one item/area per day and then have one *big* day each week (with help from the uber-organizer & yes, party planner), Dr. Salty Dog.  

Since then, I've managed to tackle half of the kitchen (primarily flow issues), my desk area and, um, the lack of filing I was managing, I've Freecycled quite a bit, set aside items for donation, and yesterday, worked on my bathroom.  Really, a bathroom should not be onerous, but somehow, I've ended up with a collection of stuff.  Organizers filled with sample products from hotels and a mish-mash of things that I have realized that I just don't need.  When all was said and done with my review, I realized that I actually have about 10 products that I need/use on a regular basis.  Just knowing how little I need in that respect is so freeing. 

In fact, I've realized all over the place how little we need.  Yes, clothes and shoes, a collection of books, and toys for the kids.  However, I've been paring down in the kitchen to the absolute essentials and realizing I do have my favorites…but there are many things I've been holding onto for no reason whatsoever, and those will be out the door before the movers show up.

Even Cait has come around to the idea of more being less.  Her only concern with the move was her books.  How on earth would she be able to part with any of her 500+ book collection?  No amount of pushing her on the Kindle idea helped (and I get this, I really do…I am a *real* book lover myself).  However, one day she realized that if she downloaded a book, she could have it the morning it came out instead of that night.  She began to borrow my Kindle sporadically until she realized the beauty of Amazon 1-click with a gift card….and now she is still not thrilled about having to put a good portion of her stash into storage, but has realized that perhaps the digital age does have some benefits.

We still have to work on Kelsey's room and Nick's Lego collection, but the more I get accomplished each day, the less stress I feel.  In fact, the panic attacks have subsided, and I still have over 4 weeks before Peter comes home in order to get that much more organized and out of the way. 

It's funny, if you asked me this time last year how I'd feel right now, I would suspect I would have said 100% anxious just to have Peter home.  While I am excited about his return, I've realized that we've handled this year far better than I thought we could (even with my minor bad parenting days).  The kids have blossomed and are even more independent, and while we do have occasional, "How do I get three kids three places at once?" days, I've found ways to work around that.  And the occasional mom/teenager struggles?  I think it's well-known that growing pains in that respect are universal.  Those will happen whether Peter is here or not, and I'd be lying if I said otherwise.

Whether it's letting Nick stay in daycare for an afternoon or two each week (um, he will actually beg to go), so we can have more free time the next afternoon or hiring someone to drive the girls to their activities, little things can make this kind of year so much easier.  Sometimes, we just take a breather.  I've learned it's okay to say no or pass on things.  We don't have to be busy 24 hours a day, even though I know that it this  area can make one feel like they need to be.

We gotten our routine and it's comforting.  Even on hectic days, Nick and I still have plenty of time to read and have quiet time before he nods off.  In fact, it seems I now have extra time with each of the kids at night and that's a relief.  Even though they know they can call Pete at any time, with only one of us truly present, it's nice to find an ebb and flow that works so that you don't feel insanely stretched thin.  I'm not saying it's easy or we don't have our moments, but compared to even other Stateside assignments, it has not been as onerous as it could have been.

Now, let's just hope this flow keeps up for a few more weeks.  Today I tackle all of the extra piles of clothes that I *think* the kids have outgrown, and then maybe the garage if there is time.  If that doesn't send me over the edge, we should be good to go.