I’m a Wimp

Yesterday I was officially 5 weeks out from the implant exchange.  Four weeks and a day from when Dr. X looked at me like I had lost all reasoning when I asked if I could start jogging in the next week or so.  Four days after I had jogged briefly (20 seconds here, 20 seconds there) while pushing Nicholas in the Bob and having no ill effects whatsoever.  

Last night, I intended only to go to the gym to walk or maybe, MAYBE work out on the elliptical.  For whatever reason, I had begun to have extreme pain in my foot and calf Tuesday night.  The pain resembled unrelenting cramps and while massage and a hot bath helped, I could still feel it yesterday morning.  By last night, however, it had nearly dissipated and as I hopped on the elliptical, I made the executive decision to cut the elliptical time in half, use that as a good warm-up and then officially re-start the Couch to 5 K program.

Now none of this is so I can prove anything sporting and athletic-wise, as I am truly neither.  This all goes back to my desire to improve my health as much as possible (the daily wheat grass smoothies only go so far…), so as to possibly avoid treatments that I don't feel I need (and that scare the living daylights out of me).  I am nearing my end of February deadline and will call this afternoon to make an appointment for follow-up blood work.   In the meantime, I am working as hard as I can to ensure that I am working out a minimum of 30 minutes a day, come hell or high water.

The resolution isn't about a medal, a photo finish or looking hot to trot in a bikini (trust me when I say the last item is indefinitely out of the picture).  It's about remembering that I have to be responsible for as much as I can regarding my own health, since the doctors are so much more focused on being reactive rather than proactive.

I finished my elliptical workout, felt good, erased my old C25K stats and plugged everything into the treadmill.  Two minutes in, I realized the calorie counter wasn't working.  I stopped, switched machines and started all over again, only to realize 5 minutes in that I had somehow set the time incorrectly.  Third try is the charm?

Yes, or so I thought.  By the end of the first jog segment, I could feel myself getting into the run.  I was relaxing it and truly enjoying the segments.  I was walking faster than I had in prior attempts and all was good until the 3rd run.  Inexplicably, halfway through, I found myself in incredible pain.  Most of my left side (chest area) was stuck in a hard, painful cramp.  I kept going and finished the jog portion, thinking the cramp would subside during the fast walk. No such luck.

I realized, sadly, that it was my body telling me that I simply wasn't ready to run again.  Perhaps I needed a few more days.  I was toying with the notion of a 5 K in May and realized that even if I wait until next week to restart, I could still make the deadline.  However, since that is not *the* reason I have become so passionate about the daily workouts, I don't feel giving myself another week 'off' will hurt me.  And, yes, I might be a bit of a wimp….but I haven't quit yet, and if memory serves, it is the first time* ever that I have carried any sort of resolution this far and that, in and of itself, is already a victory for me.

 

*For many reasons (snow days, extreme pain and intense exhaustion), I am not counting the two week recovery period I gave myself following the implant exchange.