Conflicted?

I had a little trouble thinking of a good topic today, as I am just a little bit weary from the day spa. My friend, B., treated me to an afternoon at the Nordica spa.  We enjoyed a brief workout, relaxing in the hot pots, the awesome head and shoulders massage in the hot pots, the saunas (steamy & dry) and, finally, a pedicure for me and a facial for B.  It was lovely to lounge and not have a care in the world other than waiting for my fotsnyrting. 

I even forgot, momentarily, how conflicted I am these days.

It isn’t something I should stress about, unlike organizing the house, planning Home Leave, the packout, etc., however, I have decided that now is the time.  So I fret about what I should or shouldn’t do regarding going back to work at some point in time.  Not tomorrow, or even this year, but some time in the near future.

I know I need (feel I need) to go back to school as part of the process to become certified in my ‘hopeful’ field.  However, I go back and forth as to whether this is the right decision and more importantly, how to go about doing it.  I think it is almost more difficult having so many options, rather than just one or two.  Timing is also key as the one program I really like would require a lot of schedule juggling and would be very tentative until we know what we are doing after San Francisco.

All in all, probably not much for most people to be conflicted about.  However, when your lives are all about moving every two to three years, managing such moves and not knowing where you move until three months before said move…well, it gets a little overwhelming at times.

So,as it is graduation time, my positive thoughts will go out to those who may be conflicted about their futures.  Whether you are just starting college or finishing up with honors (Congratulations, Forrest!), you may have a lot of decisions to face, none of which may be easy.  I can only say to listen to your heart, and do what you want to do.

If your heart says take a year off to work before you start school?  Do it.  Gap years never hurt anyone and if anything, may help you find the career ideas that have been eluding you and allow you to save money so your college diet does not consist of ramen noodles. Don’t let anyone else decide what you should do…only you can do that.  More importantly, don’t limit yourself. 

I think I would be a lot less conflicted today if I had a more open mind and realized just how many opportunities I really had as a younger person.  Instead I believed that only certain paths were available to me and ignored the wise inner voice that said otherwise.   Now I just have to figure out how to make it happen within the confines of our lifestyle.